How to be a Rocker Chick

1. Don't moan about being a chick, refer to feminism or complain about sexist discrimination. We've all been thrown down the stairs and fucked about, but no one wants to hear a whining female. Write a loosely disguised song about it instead and clean up ($).
2. Never pretend to know more then you do. If you don't know chord names refer to the dots. Don't go near the desk unless you plan on becoming an engineer.
3. Make the other band members look and sound good. Bring out the best in them; that's your job. Oh, and you better sound good too.
4. Do not insist in working with "females." That's just more b.s. Get the best man for the job. If it happens to be a woman, great - you'll have someone to go to department stores with on tour instead of making one of the road crew go with you.
5. Try not to have a sexual relationship within the band. It always ends in tears.
6. Don't think that sticking your boobs out and trying to look fuckable will help. Remember you're in a rock and roll band. It's not "fuck me," it's "fuck you"!
7. Don't try to compete with the guys; it won't impress anybody. Remember, one of the reasons they like you is because you don't offer yet more competition to the already existing male egos.
8. If you sing, don't "belt" or "screech". No one wants to hear that shit; it sounds "hysterical"
9. Shave your legs, for chrissake!
10. Don't take advice from people like me. Do your own thing always.

.... by Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders

My state of mind

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berzerk?
Well, you left me anyhow and the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
and they're coming to take me away ha ha

You thought it was joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right? You know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad.

And they're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away ha ha...

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you paid me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds. Huh? Well you just wait they'll find you yet, and when they do they'll put you in the ASPCA you mangy mutt.

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice men in their clean white coats
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle thier thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha

Your home the one the bank foreclosed, You cried to me Monogamy is the way we both must live or you'll feel hurt. But, I see, I see there's someone new, your anxious poly-pure-bred coat was even gone at our place while I paid the rent, thanks!

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the loony bin with all you can eat perscription drugs like torizine, and lithium, and electric shock eels
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha



Blackboard is out to get me...I'm not paranoid. I'm running away to Mexico, where I will assume the identity of Maria Cortez, and I will be making Sombreos in Margaritaville, where's always 5 O'clock. Come visit, except don't tell those crazy email Blackboard people....Oh wait they already Know... Damn ... Foiled again
I'm a little tired can you tell?